you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
