i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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