she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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