her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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