More tranny stories later!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
