believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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