Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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