i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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