umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize