There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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