8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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