2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
