mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
