youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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