is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
