I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
