you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
