Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
