Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
