I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
