if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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