Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
