3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
