He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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