'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this will be a night to untag.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize