where am i from again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
