The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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