you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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