So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
