Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
