he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
