He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize