dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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