I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
