Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
