I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
