Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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