I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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