tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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