I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
