I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
