you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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