so let's talk penis.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
