I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
