If i come over, it means nothing
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
