So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
