I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
