Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
