i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
