he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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