Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
