Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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