Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
