Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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