Tell her she can't have a vagina
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
