I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
