Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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