she was so not down for the gang bang
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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