if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
