God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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