Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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