we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
