I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
