HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize