Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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