Moan for me like Helen Keller
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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