You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Plan B is the new Plan A
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
