I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize