So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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