I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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