your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
